“God is the reason why even at the saddest part of life we smile, even in the confusion we understand, even in betrayal we trust, and even in pain we love.”

Meaning of confused (of a person) unable to think clearly; bewildered.

"she was utterly confused about what had just happened"

The word confused or confusion is referred to approximately 75 times in the Bible.

Where do we start? How do we do this? I am so confused about this word. 

Confusion is just a state of mind or does it affect other things? Must we go through a period of confusion to find the value of peace and clarity?? Our thought patterns are so complex. Here are 7 skills that we utilize in making a decision. “Observation, analysis, interpretation, reflection, evaluation, inference, explanation, problem solving, and decision making.” I believe when the process runs smoothly we do not have the time for confusion. It’s when we find ourselves stuck in any part of the process we began to second guess ourselves resulting in confusion, doubt, and unrest.

When I look back in time and reflected on this word, I began to analyze when I last felt confused. I actually do remember. I remember saying I was bewildered and confused?  It was a significant moment in time. It was one that made a dramatic impact on my life. 

I have always been pretty even-keeled. Pretty strong in how I approached life. But when I had a Holy Spirit Encounter, I remember saying I felt bewildered and confused and I felt like I was coming apart at the seams. I felt a love that was so difficult to describe and contain. I felt an energy level that would require little to no sleep. I felt an insatiable desire to talk to God and to learn about Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  All these things were so new to me.  Way out of my normal character and unfortunately, I was not prepared. 

However, to fully understand the dynamics and where I am coming from I will need to admit I did not have a “religious background” nor did I study the Bible. So, my zealous behavior was not my norm and I found it very confusing. But my desire to know more about this overwhelming love was far greater than any confusion I could ever feel.  So, I surrendered my heart and began my journey. 

He placed many people in my path and each one shared a nugget of wisdom. But the more time I spent with Elohim the more He wows me, the more He taught me, and the more He spoke to my soul.  He introduced me to His beautiful Son Jesus. I lovingly call Him Yeshua. I must admit I love His gentleness and loving smile, He knows how to brighten any day. 

I have held on tightly to God’s hand, as I traveled on this road of discovery, He reintroduced me to the Holy Spirit. I say re-introduced because my first encounter was with Him… But at that time, I was too naïve to know it was Him. He is the beautiful sweet breath of God Himself.

My confusion became distant with each passing day. And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with Him, all facets of Him. My Heavenly Father, His Son, and His very breath… He has held me in my darkest most confusing moments and shared in each of my victories no matter how insignificant and small they seem. I love how He guides my heart and gently leads me to discover things He wants me to know. 

And I think wow look what I found… LOL and then I smile and know in my heart He planted it there just for me.  

One of my many lessons during this amazing journey has been, there is no need for confusion. Answers may not be immediate. Learn to lean on Him. Learn to trust Him with all things, Learn to LOVE Him above else. Hold on to Him tightly. Clarity will come with each passing day. And you may discover that you just might fall in LOVE and feel a LOVE greater than you ever dreamed possible. 

It's Him! It is always Him.   

Photography & Written by Lori Garner

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You Know Me - Steffany Gretzinger | The Loft Sessions